The tears I never cried

I will sit here and weep
But don't be deceived.
For I cry not for you.
It's purerly a case of what I have sowed
I shall now reap

Oh gosh! I loved you
Lord knows how much.
 I gave you my all
I devoted my time
and offered my heart,
but why didn't I cry for us
when it all fall apart?

People always tell me
"Asanda, you don't always have
to be strong"
But they are not aware
Tha's the strenght I don't have
 to actually cry.
And you thought and I ought to know why.

Today I will cry.
Today I will breakdown.
All my emotions I will let out
through each tear drop.
There's so much to cry about
So many tears I never let out.

Tonight I will lie on my pillow
and transfer pain on it.
Arg!Who am I kidding!!
If I cry tonoght
I will cry for one memory
I will cry for you.
  and that I cannot let it happen
I will not
I refuse!
To shed one sorry tear
Toshow any form of weakness
towards you!

My face is wet!
How could it be?
Had I been crying all along?
All this years I thought I was strong?
But the tears had been rolling down inside of me.
Could it be

That tables are turning on me?

But once they start coming
You can't stop them from rolling and falling

But then again don;t be deceived!
For I cry not only for you
Tonight I cried for my heart too

Have U tried?

Have u tried saying you are ohk but u are not?

Pretending to understand when u
don't?

Acting like you are busy but in reality you are lonely?

Convincing people that you just want to be friends but what you really want is more than just friends?

When you know that he\she has somebody else and you pretend that it doesn't hurt but it really hurts do bad inside?

When you say you have moved on but the truth is you are just still waiting?

When you say you are over him\her
but you know you are still inlove with him\her?

TherE's NothINg LeFT to GiVe...

Sitting here by the window

As I sit here all by myself by the window
I remember me
I remeber you.....
 and I remember us
I remember the beautiful times we had together
the love you made me feel

I remember how you would sing love songs
 for me and make my heart melt.
How we would have long conversations on the
phone just to try and fight the long distance that try
to fight us

U were everything that I ever wanted  in a guy
So I gave you my LOVE.
I gave you my trust
I gave you my the best of me.
U taught me how to love and trust
and then you showed me the pain
for loving and trusting.

What did I do wrong?
Wasn't I enough to make you happy?
I tried to hold on but you kept on changing girls, neglecting me
making me feel so little, like I ain't good enough
But still I LOVE YOU

I am tired and I can't go on like this
I love you truly and no girl has ever loved you as much as I do
Someday you will see that.....
But I LOVE myself more and I come FIRST